First Summer Camp :(

Poor pitiful mom. Once again I am crying over Adiah leaving. She left about an hour ago to go to her first overnight summer camp. I really didn't think it would affect me like this since she was just gone for a week. However, when she left with people that I barely know and not one close friend it was almost too much for me. Leave it to Adiah though to just push through the nerves and go anyway.
I feel like her life is flying by way too fast. Ever since Adiah was born she has been quite the handful and I have looked forward to the day when she would be more calm and just I guess mind me. Well, in my ignorance I guess I forgot that by doing this she would slowly start gettting to the point of being "grown up". Don't get me wrong, I realize that she still has a lot of growing to do but at this point she seems to grow twice as fast each day as she did even a year ago. I feel guily for trying to rush this and sad that so much has already come to an end. I want to soak up every day that I spend with her and Ava now. I have enjoyed spending this summer with them so much. It hasn't been about trips and swimming so much as just spending time together and doing whatever comes up that day.
Last year I worked so much and missed so much with the girls. I had such a good opportunity and I didn't want to pass it by but by enjoying that opportunity I did not get to enjoy the girls as much. Who wants to fight about homework and getting clothes and shoes picked up every afternoon after getting home from work. And forget about cooking dinner. There's no time for that when you are in ballet, girl scouts, and then kickball and softball. It was really too much and I really don't want our lives to be like that again. I don't want them to miss out on anything but, I think that as the parent I need to cut out certain things in order to be able to have a calm happy family at home. I really have a hard time not letting them participate in the activities that they want to do but in order to do those it really puts a strain on all of us. It's too much. Life is so much fun right now that I wouldn't want to waste another year that I could have enjoyed with my girls the way I am enjoying them now. Even though I'm sad today. :)